I gave some brief tips on narwhal disposal in the previous post, but I neglected to mention that, with many narwhals, the tusk or ‘horn’ has a tendency to snag on trees and clothing, attaching itself like a burr. For this reason, it is always best to check before leaving the release site that the narwhal is not still attached to you in any way, as this will only prolong the separation process and make it harder for the both of you. Another point of clarification, which I had hoped would not be necessary – when shutting the rear flap on your trailer, please do not trap the narwhal’s tusk in the flap and then drag it all the way back to your house. You would think this is obvious advice, but you would be surprised.

With a baby fast approaching, my wife recently commissioned me to sort out a mural for the nursery wall. After some protracted negotiations on scale, and a small amount of procrastination, my opus is complete. When the child outgrows it, I will cut out this section of wall for installation in the Royal Academy of Arts.


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